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The Definitive Guide

Housing Crisis for Car Dwellers

June 25th, 2008 · 1 Comment

A YOUNG Tasmanian family is living in conditions the RSPCA has deemed not fit for dogs.
For five months a family have been living in a broken down car in Devonport. The dogs were seized by the RSPCA, who have deemed the conditions unfit for the animals to live.
News.com would have us read this and […]

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Biblical Event?

January 20th, 2008 · No Comments

Seems more wrongdoers were washed away by a flood, albeit on a much smaller scale than in the biblical tale of Noah’s Ark. A trio of oxygen thieves have been caught in floodwaters in a storm water drain in Sydney while vandalizing the drains with graffiti. These people were aged between 21 and […]

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The Ghetto of Albury

January 17th, 2008 · No Comments

Glenroy has always been Albury’s ghetto, but now residents have apparently had enough. Residents have approached the local MP, Greg Aplin, in order to overcome the situation, and hopefully have troublemakers evicted. Greg stated:
These juveniles are not learning respect, they’re not learning acceptable behavior and they will be embarking on a cycle, unfortunately, […]

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Tight squeeze in a caravan

December 23rd, 2007 · No Comments

Poor Karron and five (of her seven) children are crammed into a tiny caravan. Ooh. Deja vu. Another family with more kids than they have room for. Yet surprisingly (or not) that didn’t stop her from having the latest offspring. In the van for 4 months, with a 5 month old […]

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Tags: News

No Great Loss to Society

November 25th, 2007 · No Comments

A teenager on suspended provisional license died when the car he was driving (wtf?) crashed into a tree during a police pursuit in Albury. He was seen to be driving erratically and police in a marked police car attempted to pull him over. He sped off.
His family say the high speed chase, and consequently […]

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Tags: News

More Baby Bonus

September 20th, 2007 · No Comments

Another bloody genius. Family First senator, Steve Fielding, has proposed a new baby bonus bonus. His suggestion is a $10,000 bumper handout for the third child. The senator has dismissed concerns regarding people having kids for the cash, saying:
I don’t believe that is what is happening on the whole. For sure it […]

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Gold Class Delivery Service for Addicts

May 6th, 2007 · No Comments

Another crisis averted! Poor junkies had to resort to used syringes if they couldn’t get to a needle exchange. Well fret no more. These poor souls can now have fresh new syringes delivered, free of charge, in a flash!
Needles will be delivered to those requesting them faster than one can get a pizza if you […]

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Another Bad Dad

April 28th, 2007 · No Comments

This poor chap has been violated. Police raided his home and found a crossbow, nunchakas, stolen equipment including an NEC data projector, TV, video, digital cameras, cannabis and amphetamines.
So he has been convicted of weapons offences, drug offences, and stolen goods offences. And the sentence? A 12 month bond. Twelve whole months where he is […]

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Tags: News

Father of the year?

July 22nd, 2006 · No Comments

A ‘thieving little shit’, 15 years old, has requested he be released from custody because his girlfriend is expecting a baby. Yes. Heaven forbid he miss out on his share of the 4 grand!!
The youth faced charges of break, enter and steal (x3), theft, malicious damage and ‘borrowing’ a car. But he has a baby […]

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Tags: News

Government Bungle ?

July 1st, 2006 · No Comments

A Family of seven (you know where this is going already don’t you?), has been forced to squash into a small house because their application for a larger place was never processed. Who is forcing them? I’m sure there are cardboard boxes behind department stores if that would suit better. They are calling this a […]

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Tags: News